Josh here. Thanks for the comments guys – I think I haven’t made myself clear. What I’m saying is that the people who have really hung on in my life have often been exes, or people I’ve been on a date or two with (not necessarily had sex with or even snogged) and then realised that my attraction to is in no way romantic. It’s not a question of copping off with your old mates – bringing sex into a situation like that would just feel incestuous and embarrassing.
Thanks for leaving such a detailed response Andre. I agree that there’s nothing odd about like minds congregating – we don’t, after all, complain about the ghetto mentality of, say, stamp collectors or pigeon fanciers when they get together. But we are all birds of many different feathers – if I personally hang out only with gay people I start I start to feel rather more monochrome than I actually am
Josh Hunt here – I take your point Omar, but I’m not sure bracketing saunas and gay websites together makes for a fair comparison. Quite a few gay dating sites are networking sites as well – gaydar may just be for sex alone, but I use gayromeo.com as a way to keep up with my friends in Berlin and also have old friends abroad who I’ve been chatting to using several other sites for ages – I don’t see that continuing to do so jeopardises a relationship or even constitutes a cop-out to gay inconstancy. Of course there’s always the possibility that you might be propositioned, but that’s a risk in any place that gays congregate – building up trust strikes me as a better way to deal with this possibility than surveillance and bans.
Facebook profile
Friendly Fire
January 13th, 2010 at 22:09Josh here. Thanks for the comments guys – I think I haven’t made myself clear. What I’m saying is that the people who have really hung on in my life have often been exes, or people I’ve been on a date or two with (not necessarily had sex with or even snogged) and then realised that my attraction to is in no way romantic. It’s not a question of copping off with your old mates – bringing sex into a situation like that would just feel incestuous and embarrassing.
Ghetto Fatigue Syndrome
December 3rd, 2009 at 02:38Thanks for leaving such a detailed response Andre. I agree that there’s nothing odd about like minds congregating – we don’t, after all, complain about the ghetto mentality of, say, stamp collectors or pigeon fanciers when they get together. But we are all birds of many different feathers – if I personally hang out only with gay people I start I start to feel rather more monochrome than I actually am
Afraid of becoming the sex police
October 29th, 2009 at 01:07Josh Hunt here – I take your point Omar, but I’m not sure bracketing saunas and gay websites together makes for a fair comparison. Quite a few gay dating sites are networking sites as well – gaydar may just be for sex alone, but I use gayromeo.com as a way to keep up with my friends in Berlin and also have old friends abroad who I’ve been chatting to using several other sites for ages – I don’t see that continuing to do so jeopardises a relationship or even constitutes a cop-out to gay inconstancy. Of course there’s always the possibility that you might be propositioned, but that’s a risk in any place that gays congregate – building up trust strikes me as a better way to deal with this possibility than surveillance and bans.